November 7th is the last time I posted anything on here and those blogs I had mentioned I was working on? Well, I haven’t worked on them at all. A lot has happened and I just haven’t made it my priority. If you go back and look through my blog you will see that I am not consistent with my blogging. I have large gaps in my post. I often ask myself if I should really be posting all this stuff anyways. I like to write about what is going on in my life, telling myself that maybe my mom or someone else in my family might want to know what is going on in my life. Well I don’t think anyone I know personally really reads it so I just think “who cares”! I also like to write what I learn in my Bible studies or things that God has put on my heart (writing helps me ponder things) then I think what if I say something wrong and lead someone astray? Then there are my short stories and I really do enjoy writing them, but why do I post them? Well I write because it helps me to get through all the clutter in my mind and I publish them because I might help someone, maybe? Even if it helps someone to know they are not alone. I think that is the main reason I don’t post consistently.
Anyways, My Grandma died on November 17th. My Grandma lived an hour and a half from me and I only went to see her once in the last 3ish years. 😦 WHY??? I was and still am a little upset at myself for not going to see her more. I didn’t go and see her because I was scared she wouldn’t remember me. See she has had alzheimer’s for a very long time. Well she had a stroke on the 12th and I rushed down to her on the 13th, guess what? She was lying on her death bed and she remembered me! WHY??? Why didn’t I go and see her more? I miss her sooo much! She was and is the only person in my life that I know truly loves me. Well, the good news is that my Grandma loved Jesus. I have comfort in knowing that one day I will see her again, she is free from the bondage of alzheimer’s, she is with my Grandpa and most of all she is with Jesus! Like Randy Alcorn says in his book “Heaven” I haven’t lost my Grandma I just lost contact with her.
Brianna, Brianna, Brianna! I have officially withdrew her from K12 and I am homeschooling her now. K12 is a great program, but it isn’t working out for her. I am not as bad as a teacher as I thought I would be anyways. When we count to 3 over and over day after day and then I hear her in her room playing saying 1-2 or when I hand her a clothespin and she knows how to use it, these are just a few things I know she is learning from me! I guess I am doing something right. It is much more rewarding for me to see her progress when I personally know how hard we have worked to get to know things. I am so proud of her.
I have also started going to another church it is a small church and I am not sure how this will work out with my daughter and her needs, but for now I feel like I need to try. I wish I could feel like a part of a church family, but no matter how hard I have tried that just doesn’t seem to happen. I don’t know what it is; I just can’t connect with people. Oh well, God has shown me that He is all that I truly need!
Well that is all I have to say for now. Take care!