Who or What Matters Most?

How you spend your time shows what your priorities are. It may be hard to admit, but it is true. I am guilty of this on a daily basis. I fight myself every day! When I wake up I don’t want to get up and sometimes I don’t (depending if my kids have school or not). I will get up in the mornings with my kids, but when they are out of school sometimes I will not set an alarm or I will just shut it off when it does come on. I just sleep in and let my husband get up on his own and leave for work without really telling him bye. What does that say about me? I feel like it is saying that I value myself and my sleep more than I value him or spending time with him. I love my husband and other than God he is all that I truly have. Another major no, no that I do is jump up out of bed not even giving God much thought until my day is settled down and on some days that doesn’t even happen at all. I put sleep, eating, my husband and my kids before Him. Sometimes I put facebook and the news before Him to. What does that say about me? I value something more than I value God and well that is just wrong! I wouldn’t have all the things I have without Him. It is sad, but it is true. The relationships that are the most important in our lives sometimes take a back seat to ourselves. Well at least that is what I am seeing. Not everyone is like that. Satan wants to rip our families apart and he certainly doesn’t want us to spend time with God. Satan will do anything he can to destroy us “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour”  (1 Peter 5:8) Our flesh only adds to what satan likes to throw at us. We are naturally selfish and in the “now” moment it feels good to be selfish. ”This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16) Let’s look at things in a new way every day…  After we die what will matter? Will money matter? Will sleep and self-matter? Or will God and people matter? Of course God and people will matter because that is all we will have left. All the money we have earned all of the time we spend on making our house nice or all the time we spend in sleeping will no longer matter and we will have nothing to show of it. I know we need sleep, but we don’t need to sleep more than our bodies need we need to wake up and make the most of our relationship with God and others because in the end (or beginning) that is ALL that matters! Where are your priorities?

My Love

I can’t believe the time that has gone by that we don’t get to share with each other! In the mornings: you are busy getting ready for work and I am in bed, sleeping, afraid to get up because of the hostility that might occur. I know that the hostilities have nothing to do with our love for each other, but I dread them all the same.

During the day as I wrestle with the aching and bitterness of loneliness I miss you more. I know when you come home you will be tired and the kids will beg for your attention. And being the good father that you are you will give them your attention. Soon we get busy with dinner and the evening is gone. We are so tired that we both crash so fast there is no time for us!

Our 10th anniversary has come and gone, a whole decade of ups and downs that brought us to this point. Some call it a silver anniversary, I’m not sure why, all I do know is that our relationship means more to me than silver or gold. This is the time when we should be celebrating, but in our attempt to do so we only end up sitting down to eat. We can’t talk or visit because of the chaos that has come with us. I love you for trying to make it work. I love our kids, don’t get me wrong I just wish that sometimes we were alone.

There are so many things threatening to pull us apart, but with God on our side no other source can succeed. I will no longer listen to them, God and I will fight to make us work. I must remind myself everyday how I love you so much because these other things can get in the way and make me forget. I love you more and more everyday and I will continue to grow. I have been praying for us and God is showing me where I was wrong. He is teaching me how to love because He is love!

“And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.” (1 John 4:16)